Wings and Worms for Warner

Charles Warner, executed by the state of Oklahoma tonight for a heinous and brutal murder committed in 1997, was one of the few lucky death row inmates to order and eat not one but two last meals.

Prior to his first scheduled execution last year, Warner asked for a KFC meal of 20 boneless hot wings, potato wedges, two fruit cups, and cole slaw. Oklahoma last meals always come from fast food restaurants, and at the time the spending limit was only $15. Warner's date with the grim reaper was then put on hold because of concerns over the state's execution protocol, but by then the man had already consumed his last meal.

By the time Warner's second execution date rolled around, Oklahoma had increased the last meal spending limit to $25. For round two, Warner was able to repeat his first food order and also add a Big Mac and a bag of gummy worms because of the extra cash allowed.

So, Warner is obviously a big fan of both KFC and McDonald’s…which is odd, considering the fact that his mug shot clearly pays tribute to a completely different fast food icon.

Johnny Kormondy: See Ya Later, Alligator

Convicted killer Johnny Kormondy was executed by the state of Florida tonight, and his last meal choice turned out to be quite unique. Kormondy asked for fried alligator tail, fried shrimp, fried okra, fried eggs, hash browns, vanilla ice cream, and a cream soda.

First of all, that’s quite a heaping helping of fried food. Kormondy obviously decided it was time to quit that low cholesterol diet. And regarding his unusual choice of a main entrée, we can only imagine that after spending more than two decades in prison, Kormondy was eager for a little tail. Either that or he’s a diehard University of Florida football fan.

Brannan Binges on Big Breakfast

Vietnam veteran Andrew Howard Brannan was executed by the state of Georgia tonight for the murder of a sheriff's deputy during a routine traffic stop. Brannan's lawyers argued that their client's death sentence should be commuted due to mental illness stemming from his years in the army, but both the Georgia Supreme Court and the US Supreme Court ruled against those appeals. 

For his last meal, Brannan chose a big honking breakfast consisting of three eggs over easy, hash browns, sausage, biscuits with gravy, and pecan waffles with strawberries. To drink, Brannan asked for milk, apple juice, and decaf coffee--which was probably a wise choice, considering the problems some states have had with their lethal injection drugs lately. After all, nobody wants a bad case of the jitters when they're trying to lie down for their last nap.  

Good Riddance to Goodwin

Paul Goodwin--who apparently enjoys taking mug shots, because he smiles in every one--was executed by the state of Missouri early this morning. Goodwin was convicted of beating an elderly former neighbor to death with a hammer because he believed she was responsible for having him kicked out of a boarding house he was living in. The feud began because Goodwin adopted the habit of hurling beer cans and chicken bones into his neighbor's yard, then insulting her whenever she walked by.

For his last meal, Goodwin ate pizza, chocolate ice cream, and cola.

No Hope for Holsey

After a flurry of failed last-minute appeals, Robert Wayne Holsey was executed by the state of Georgia tonight. The convicted killer earned his death sentence for shooting a deputy sheriff to death after robbing a convenience store.

We have to admit, we were hoping Holsey might order doughnuts or bagels for his last meal…or perhaps some Swiss cheese…or maybe some onion rings, or a bowl of Cheerios…you know, something “hole-sy.” But instead, Holsey asked for an eight-piece order of fried chicken—which was probably quite tasty, yet free of any holes. 

Ah, well. Not every last meal entrée comes with a side of puns.