A Do-Over, a Turnover, Now it’s All Over for Michael Selsor

Instead of striving for more, sometimes it’s best to be thankful for what you’ve got—even if what you’ve got is a life sentence in jail.

After a string of violent gas station robberies that left one man dead and several others wounded, Michael Selsor was convicted of murder and sentenced to death in Oklahoma. But the very next year, that sentence was changed to life in prison when the Supreme Court declared the death penalty unconstitutional.

Instead of thanking his lucky stars while he grew old and gray in prison, Selsor demanded a new trial. He got one, and was found guilty of murder once again—but by then the death penalty was back in style, and Selsor earned himself a brand-spanking-new death sentence.

Oops.

Prior to his execution today, Michael Selsor ate a last meal from Kentucky Fried Chicken. He requested a crispy two breast and one wing meal (with an added thigh), potato wedges, baked beans, two biscuits with honey, and an apple turnover.

And speaking of turnovers, Selsor will soon be turning over in his grave as he thinks about that cushy life sentence he could be enjoying right now. 

In Texas, Both Prisoners & Poultry Are Condemned

Forget about the Texas Chainsaw Massacre; judging by the last meals of recent death row inmates, there's actually a Texas Chicken Massacre going on!

As our loyal readers know, Texas stopped allowing special last meals in 2011. Prisoners are now served the "daily special," meaning they get the same meal as every other inmate. But in 2012, every death row inmate in Texas was served some form of chicken prior to their execution.

The poultry came in all varieties. There was barbecued chicken. Chicken spaghetti. Chicken-fried steak (which is technically neither chicken nor steak but rather a deep-fried slice of lard, but it does have chicken in its name). Tonight, the tradition continued when Beunka Adams was served a last meal of chicken patties prior to his lethal injection. Adams was convicted for his part in a rape, robbery, and murder that left one person dead and two injured.

In his final statement, Adams showed remorse for his night of crime. He ended his speech by saying, "For everybody involved, I don't think any good came out of it."

And that includes one more Texas chicken.

Thomas Kemp Has Berries Before He's Buried

Convicted killer, rapist, and all-around scumbag Thomas Kemp was executed in Arizona this morning by lethal injection. The man who once said "I spit on the law and all those who serve it" remained defiant to the end. His last words were, "I regret nothing."

Kemp, who earned his death sentence for kidnapping and killing a Hispanic college student, said this at his sentencing: "The so-called victim was not an American citizen and, therefore, was beneath my contempt. If more of them ended up dead, the rest of them would soon learn to stay in Mexico where they belong."

For his last meal, Thomas Kemp ordered a cheeseburger, french fries, boysenberry pie, strawberry ice cream, and root beer.

Daily Special for Shannon Johnson

Convicted killer Shannon Johnson was executed in Delaware today in the wee hours of the morning.

The execution was surrounded by confusion and controversy. Part of that was because Johnson accepted his sentence and never wanted to file an appeal, which caused lawmakers to label him crazy. The fact that Delaware performs executions about as often as Kim Kardashian shops at Wal-Mart probably didn't help, either. There were stays, attempted stays, delays, and all other types of courtroom chaos before the execution finally went through at the odd hour of 2:55am.

Johnson was convicted of shooting and killing a man whom he thought was having an affair with his ex-girlfriend. He then tried to kill the ex-girlfriend herself several days later, but his gun jammed during the attempt. In-between the two crimes, Johnson evaded police by disguising himself as a Muslim woman and wearing a full-length burka whenever he went out in public.

Perhaps due to the confusion surrounding the execution, Shannon Johnson didn't order a customized last meal. Instead, he ate the prison's "daily special" of chicken lo mein, carrots, wheat bread, cake, and iced tea.

Wacky Last Meal for Mark Wiles

Mark Wiles, a former farmhand convicted of killing the teenage son of his former employers, was executed by lethal injection in Ohio today.

For his last meal, Wiles ordered a weird hodge-podge of mostly junk food including a pepperoni pizza with extra cheese, a bottle of hot sauce, a bag of Cheetos, vanilla wafers, a whole cheesecake, fresh strawberries, a garden salad with ranch dressing, and Sprite. According to eyewitness reports, Wiles didn't eat the Cheetos or the salad but finished off the rest of his food. His intended use of the hot sauce remains a mystery.

Autocorrect Felonies

See the funniest text messages from death row on our new sister site!

http://deathrowsoddestinmates.blogspot.com/2012/04/autocorrect-fail-death-row-edition.html