Darth Vader, Superman, and Frank Garcia

Remember the end of Return of the Jedi when Darth Vader's mask comes off and we see that he's just a soft, puffy old man who looks about as scary as a moldy marshmallow?

Or that scene in Superman 2 where Superman--who gave up his powers so he could be with Lois Lane--gets the snot beat out of him by some goofy hick in a diner?

Well...the events on Texas's death row yesterday weren't exactly the same, but things still seemed mighty weird. Here was Frank Garcia, cop killer and multiple murderer, preparing to die without being allowed to order a special last meal.

Last meals and executions have gone hand-in-hand as long as anyone can remember, and Texas executes more inmates by far than any other state. So to see this grim ceremony performed without its last meal tradition was a bit strange. A bit unsettling. And, I must admit, a bit depressing.

Texas lawmakers gave special last meals the axe last month after one condemned man ordered a huge dinner then refused to eat even a bite of it. Now Texas inmates are given the same daily meal as all the other prisoners, with no option to make a special request.

Frank Garcia, the first man to be executed under the new regulation, decided to eat nothing at all.

Does the new rule make sense? Maybe. Do death row inmates deserve a special meal? Not really. But just like substituting tofu for a nice, thick, greasy hamburger, the process will take some time to get used to.

Culinary Collapse for Christopher Johnson

I wouldn't expect a man who once tried to commit suicide by eating toilet paper to possess a gourmet palate, and Christopher Johnson certainly didn't prove me wrong.

Convicted of killing his own six-month-old son, Johnson's last meal consisted of a turkey bologna sandwich with tomatoes and cheese, french fries, and an orange drink. A few hours later, Johnson enjoyed a pre-execution snack of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, pretzels, and Sunkist grape soda.

His last words were "Game over."

A New Way to Improve Death Row Service

We all agree that our capital punishment system needs some changes.  But instead of listening to pundits and lawmakers, why not solicit the opinions of those affected most directly--the Death Row inmates themselves?  We think comment cards like these should be placed in all execution chambers immediately!

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Please Rate Your Execution Experience Using The Following Categories:

QUALITY OF LAST MEAL

Excellent    5    4    3    2    1    Poor

ATMOSPHERE IN THE EXECUTION CHAMBER

Excellent    5    4    3    2    1    Poor

COMFORT GIVEN BY SPIRITUAL ADVISER

Excellent    5    4    3    2    1    Poor

SYMPATHY FROM THE WARDEN

Excellent    5    4    3    2    1    Poor

PAINLESSNESS OF LETHAL INJECTION CHEMICALS

Excellent    5    4    3    2    1    Poor

Were you given adequate time to make a last statement?    YES    NO

Would you recommend our facility to a fellow convict?   YES    NO

If you receive a last-minute stay, would you choose our facility for your

next execution?

YES    NO

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