Wednesday, July 26, 2017

Pedophile Passes Up Petitioned Pizza

Today, the state of Ohio executed one of the worst of the worst, the lowest of the low, the filthiest of the filthy, when they served a lethal cocktail to convicted killer Ronald Phillips. Phillips earned his death sentence for the rape and murder of his girlfriend's three-year-old daughter in 1993.

For his last meal, Phillips ordered a pizza with mushrooms and peppers, a bottle of Pepsi, and strawberry cheesecake, along with grape juice and unleavened bread for a solo version of communion. Phillips reportedly sent back the pizza, however, and also turned down the "real last meal" breakfast he would have received before his mid-morning execution.  

Thursday, July 6, 2017

Finding Nemo's Last Meal

Despite a flurry of protests, convicted killer William Morva was executed by the state of Virginia tonight. Morva earned his death sentence for killing a hospital security guard and a deputy after he escaped from jail while serving time for attempted robbery.

Most of the protests surrounding Morva’s execution were related to his questionable mental health. While incarcerated, Morva was diagnosed as having a personality disorder that manifested in “odd beliefs.” In Morva’s case, that meant going barefoot most of the time, eating pinecones and large quantities of raw meat, and professing that President George W. Bush was plotting his murder. Morva also renounced his legal name at one point, calling it a “slave name,” and went by the name of Nemo instead—although there are few similarities between Morva and the beloved cartoon fish.

As readers of our book already know, Virginia’s last meal tradition is one of the most disappointing in the nation. Inmates may only choose from food available in the prisoner kitchen at the time, and they may also choose to keep their last meal hidden from the press. We’re still trying to find “Nemo’s” last meal, so check back soon for updates! 

Separated at birth, or no similarity whatsoever? You make the call!