Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Hefty Hernandez Nearly Breaks the Scales of Justice

Ramiro Hernandez-Llanas was executed by the state of Texas tonight for beating a history professor to death with a metal bar in 1997, then raping the man's wife at knife point. Hernandez-Llanas committed the crime after escaping from prison in his native Mexico, where he was serving time for another murder.

The killer's lawyers claimed that Hernandez-Llanas suffered from a range of mental deficiencies including severe adaptive functioning, but judging from this photo, the killer had no problem at all adapting to prison food.

Because Texas no longer allows special last meals, the killer was served the same food as others in his unit. For his last meal, Hernandez-Llanas had chicken patties, mashed potatoes with country gravy, squash, navy beans, sliced bread, yellow cake with vanilla icing, and a choice of tea, punch, or water to drink.  

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Tommy Lynn Sells, But Nobody's Buying

Serial killer Tommy Lynn Sells was executed by the state of Texas tonight after his last-minute appeal fell through. Sells hoped to delay his execution based on the fact that nobody knows where Texas got its new supply of lethal pentobarbital, but apparently that missing morsel of information wasn't enough to temp the U.S. Supreme Court.

Sells earned his death penalty by stabbing a 13-year-old girl to death in 1999, but he may have committed as many as 70 more murders.

Since Texas no longer allows special last meals, condemned inmates are given the same food as others in their unit. For his last meal, Tommy Lynn Sells had BBQ chopped brisket, chilled pasta salad, peas and carrots, sliced pickles, sliced bread, and he had a choice of tea, punch, or water to drink.

Thursday, March 27, 2014

No Doughnuts for Doyle, Only Death

Convicted killer Anthony Doyle was executed by the state of Texas tonight for a robbery/murder that took place in 2003. Doyle had ordered two dozen doughnuts and two dozen breakfast tacos from a take-out service, then beat the delivery woman to death with a baseball bat when she brought the order to his home. Afterward, the killer stole the victim's car, phone, and credit cards. Doyle dumped the body and cleaned up the crime scene--including trying to disguise the blood stains with barbecue sauce--but he was quickly arrested and given the death penalty at his trial.

Because Texas no longer allows special last meal orders, Doyle was given the same food as others in his unit. For his last meal, Doyle had a chicken patty, mashed potatoes with country gravy, navy beans, mixed vegetables, sliced bread, and he had a choice of tea, punch, or water to drink.

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

No Fretting for Ferguson

Most people would feel a little sad on the day of their execution. Moody, morose, or perhaps downright depressed. But not Jeffrey Ferguson, executed today by the state of Missouri. Ferguson, who earned his death penalty by raping and killing a teenager in 1989, was all smiles as he was strapped to the lethal injection table. The killer stuck out his tongue and made funny faces at his relatives, then said, "At this point in my life, I believe that I am the best man I've ever been."

Talk about not setting the bar very high.

For his last meal, Ferguson dined on barbecued ribs, French fries, and apple pie.

Friday, March 21, 2014

Dead Men Eat No Tails?

The old pirate saying claims "Dead men tell no tales," but they do apparently EAT tails. That was the case, anyway, with Robert Henry, who was executed by the state of Florida yesterday. For his final meal, Henry ordered oxtail, red beans and rice, pecan pie, ice cream, and orange juice.

Henry was convicted of beating two women with a hammer than setting them on fire during the course of a robbery. In his final statement, Henry had harsh words for the death penalty, saying it was unfair to kill those who have killed others.

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Ray Jasper Goes from Rap to R.I.P.

Aspiring musician Ray Jasper wasn't much of a rap star, but he did build up quite a rap sheet. Jasper was executed by the state of Texas tonight for his part in the murder of a recording studio owner back in 1998. Jasper, who committed the crime along with two other men, claimed that he only slit the victim's throat and that the 25 stab wounds inflicted by the other two men are what ultimately caused the victim's demise.

Because Texas no longer allows special last meals, Jasper was served the same food as the rest of his unit. For his last meal, Jasper had baked chicken, roasted potatoes, a vegetable blend, navy beans, and sliced bread. He was given a choice of tea, punch, or water to drink.

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Peanut Butter and Jail-y

Paul Augustus Howell was executed tonight by the state of Florida for his part in the death of a highway trooper. Howell was a drug trafficker who built a pipe bomb to kill two murder witnesses, but a Florida trooper was killed instead when he pulled the car containing the pipe bomb over during a routine traffic stop.

I can think of many reasons why Howell should have ordered an exceptional last meal prior to his demise. First, he was convicted in the state that serves the finest last meals in the country. Steak, lobster, fancy desserts--they're all available if your rendezvous with the Grim Reaper happens to take place in the Sunshine State. Second, Howell's middle name was Augustus, just like the first emperor of Rome. At the very least, he should've ordered a Caesar salad. Third, Howell was of Jamaican ancestry. I'm sure those talented Florida prison chefs could've whipped up some jerk chicken, oxtail soup, or something else with a little Caribbean flair.

But instead of choosing any of those options for his last meal, Paul Howell asked for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. The lowest item on the culinary food chain, something that would barely raise the excitement level of your average kindergarten student. And Howell's choice begs another question as well; how do you utter your last words when your tongue is stuck to the roof of your mouth? Only Howell knows, and at this point, he's not talking.