Wednesday, July 18, 2018

Hook-ed on Fast Food

Convicted killer Robert Van Hook was executed by the state of Ohio this morning. Van Hook earned his death sentence for stabbing and strangling a man he picked up in a gay bar and intended to rob. Van Hook's lawyers claimed "gay panic defense" in court, but prosecutors countered by calling that claim "bullcrap."

For his last meal, Van Hook had a double cheeseburger, fries, strawberry cheesecake with whipped cream, a vanilla milkshake, and grapefruit juice.

Tuesday, July 17, 2018

Live Fast, Die Young

Christopher Young was executed by the state of Texas tonight. Young earned his death sentence for killing a convenience store owner during an attempted robbery in 2004, but he claimed he only committed the murder because he'd drunk nearly two dozen beers and been snorting cocaine at the time--and on a Sunday morning, no less.

Ah, to be Young and foolish.

Before he died, Young uttered the last words, "I can taste it in my throat." Was he talking about justice, the execution drugs, or the remnants of his last meal, which was BBQ chopped brisket, mashed potatoes with country gravy, vegetarian beans, chilled pasta salad, corn, pinto beans, and sliced bread, with a choice of tea, punch, or water to drink?

 

Wednesday, June 27, 2018

Here's one Bible you don't want at your bedside

Convicted killer Danny Bible was executed by the state of Texas today for the rape and murder of a young woman who was stabbed 11 times with an ice pick. Bible also confessed to several other rapes and murders, including the killing of an infant, during his violent and turbulent life. In other words, this Bible was definitely Old Testament.

As Bible's execution date neared, we found ourselves wondering things like, "Will this guy read himself during his final hours?" and  "Is he allowed to put his hand on himself when he takes an oath in court?" But, being us, we mostly wondered what he would eat for his last meal. Would it be something with a religious connotation? Some unleavened bread, maybe? How about the Father, the Son, and some Holy Toast?

But since Bible was being executed in Texas, where prisoners aren't allowed to choose their last meal, he was given the same food as everyone else in his unit. For his last meal, Danny Bible had a chicken patty, sweet potatoes, cornbread, macaroni and cheese, pinto beans, biscuits, country gravy, a sugar cookie bar, and a choice of water, tea, or punch to drink.    

Thursday, May 17, 2018

The Burning Question about Juan Castillo

Convicted killer Juan Castillo was executed by the state of Texas last night for the robbery and murder of an aspiring rapper in 2003.

When asked if he had any final words, Castillo said, "To everyone that has been there for me, you know who you are. See y'all on the other side." Then, according to one witness, Castillo added, "Shit does burn."

We can't help wondering about those additional three words. Was Castillo complaining about pain from the execution drugs? Making a general statement about life? Discussing the flammable qualities of manure? Or was this one of those "Yanny or Laurel" incidents, and did Castillo really say "Ship that fern" or "Shoot those birds" or "Hit those bums?"

What IS certain, however, is Castillo's last meal. Since Texas no longer allows special meal requests, he was served the same food as others in his unit. For his last meal, Juan Castillo had a chicken patty, mashed potatoes, country gravy, carrots, pinto beans, green beans, cornbread, and a choice of water, tea, or punch to drink.

Saturday, May 5, 2018

This guy loves meat, no ifs ands or Butts

Robert Earl Butts Jr. was executed by the state of Georgia last night for the 1996 murder of an off-duty correctional officer. 

For his last meal, Butts ordered a mountain of meaty morsels; a hamburger with bacon and two kinds of cheese, a rib-eye steak, and chicken tenders, along with seasoned French fries, cheesecake, and strawberry lemonade to drink.

When asked for a final statement, Butts replied, "I've been drinking caffeine all day." It was an odd choice of words, and we wonder if Butts was hoping to negate the effects of the lethal injection drugs which would put him to sleep permanently. Once the procedure began, Butts added to his statement by muttering, "It burns, man."

Wednesday, April 25, 2018

Devilish Davila Dines then Dies

Gang member and convicted killer Erick Davila was executed tonight for two murders that took place in 2008. While trying to attack a rival gang member, Davila opened fire with a semi-automatic rifle at a child’s birthday party, killing a woman and a 5-year-old girl. In his defense, Davila claimed those deaths were accidental and that he was only trying to kill “the guys on the porch” and “the fat dude.”

In his final statement, Davila said, “I would like to say nephew, it burns, huh. You know, I might have lost the fight, but I’m still a soldier. I still love you all. To my supporters and family, y’all hold it down. Ten Toes down right. That’s all.”

Since Texas no longer allows special last meal requests, Davila was served the same food as others in his unit. For his last meal, Davila had Salisbury steak, steamed rice, brown gravy, vegetable blend, pinto beans, cornbread, butterscotch brownies, and a choice of tea, punch, or water to drink.