Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Meaty Meal for Michael Worthington

Early this morning the state of Missouri executed Michael Shane Worthington, who was convicted of a 1995 rape and murder. Prior to his pentobarbital cocktail, Worthington chowed down on a last meal that could have actually served as two meals; a cheeseburger, french fries, a rib-eye steak, and onion rings. We're surprised Worthington didn't add some eggs and toast in there to make his last meal a perfect breakfast/lunch/dinner trifecta. 

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Middleton's Meal a Mystery No More

John Middleton, executed yesterday by the state of Missouri, must have gone to the gurney with one heck of a rumbling tummy. That's because his last meal was actually served 27 hours prior to his execution after a series of stays, appeals, and legal hurdles had to be navigated.

Middleton, a former meth dealer, was convicted of killing three people who snitched about his illegal activities to law enforcement. But Middleton never accepted the blame for the crimes, and went to his death still claiming to be innocent.

For his last meal, Middleton requested a cheeseburger, a pork steak, french fries, apple pie, and a chocolate milk shake. This was served at 4pm on July 15, with Middleton's execution originally scheduled for midnight that same day. That execution was stayed, however, and Middleton was actually executed at 7pm on July 16. But since he refused all standard-issue prison meals during that time, his "last meal" actually was his last meal.

A big thank you to the media relations folks at Missouri's DOC for the information.

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Davis Dines, Dies, But Doesn't Deny

Eddie Wayne Davis--who even among death row inmates falls into the "worst of the worst" category for his unspeakable crime--was executed tonight by the state of Florida. The convicted child killer initially denied any involvement in his crime, but later confessed fully.

Unlike many recent death row inmates, Davis actually took the time to order and eat a special last meal. He dined on chopped steak with onion gravy, home fries, Brussels sprouts, corn, cherry ice cream, and Dr. Pepper.

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

No Dinner, Just Cocktails, for John Henry

Loss of appetite has suddenly become an epidemic among America's death row denizens; for the second time today, an inmate refused to order a special last meal before his execution. This time the non-peckish felon was John Ruthell Henry, executed by the state of Florida for killing two of his wives and also a child. 

Henry obviously didn't know what he was missing; as our readers know, Florida serves up one of the tastiest--and most generous--last meals in the whole country. Steak, lobster, and other succulent dishes can all be ordered with impunity. But instead of a meal, Henry just had a cocktail; midazolam, vecuronium bromide, and potassium chloride, to be exact. 

It's a Last Meal Loss for Winfield

Convicted killer John Winfield, who earned his death sentence for a double murder back in 1996, lost more than his life today when he was executed by the state of Missouri; he also lost his last chance in 18 years to eat a decent meal. In other words, it was a lose-lose situation for Winfield.

Missouri offers one of the better last meal experiences in our nation's penal system; just this year, Missouri inmates have ordered steak, barbecued ribs, apple pie, chocolate cake, and other tasty items prior to their executions. But John Winfield said "thanks but no thanks" to the offer, ordering nothing at all.

No Yellin' for Felon Wellons

Some inmates swear, complain, and throw a big fit just before their execution, but not Marcus Wellons. The Georgia inmate convicted of rape and murder back in 1993 went to his execution calmly last night, asking for forgiveness prior to his lethal injection. The execution itself went smoothly too, despite a series of recent legal snags.

The first came in 2010, when the US Supreme Court ordered a special hearing to discuss Wellons' case. The reason? They had learned that during the trial back in 1993, one of the jurors presented the judge with a chocolate penis as a gift. The court eventually ruled that although this was a "tasteless" act, it played no part in the conviction of Wellons.

Another snag came last night, as Wellons' lawyers tried for a last-minute appeal based on the fact that Georgia had not disclosed the name of the company that manufactures the drugs now used in their lethal injections--which, from a common sense standpoint, is like demanding to know the license plate number of the truck that's about to plow into you. The appeal failed, however, and Wellons was put to death shortly before midnight.

Wellons did not choose a special last meal, so he was given the same food as everyone else in his unit: shepherd's pie, mashed potatoes, red beans, cabbage relish salad, corn bread, sugar cookies, and fruit punch. 


Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Double Execution Comes with Double Dose of Irony

Clayton Lockett
It was to be a historic night; the state of Oklahoma would execute two men in the same evening, something that rarely happens in modern times. Clayton Lockett would go first, with Charles Warner following two hours later. The only problem was, the state was using a controversial new trio of drugs for its lethal injections.

Trouble began when Lockett was given his deadly dose of the drugs. They didn't seem to be working properly, so prison officials tried to halt the execution midway. Lockett ended up dying anyway--supposedly from complications of the execution procedure--so the execution was considered a failure because Lockett died, although that's the whole reason he was strapped to the lethal injection table in the first place. Because of the complications, Warner was given a stay and was not executed.

The other bit of irony is the fact that Warner, who was not executed, ordered and was given a last meal while Lockett, who WAS executed, did not enjoy the last meal ritual. Lockett did try, but was told that his order of steak, shrimp, baked potato, garlic toast, a whole pecan pie, and a bottle of Coke went way, way over the state's $15 spending limit. Upset by this, Lockett decided to pass on the last meal altogether.

Warner, on the other hand, ordered an approved last meal of boneless chicken wings, potato wedges, cole slaw, fruit cocktail, and Coke. He was given his last meal and ate it despite the fact that his execution was later cancelled.