Tuesday, December 11, 2018

Braziel Whacked

Alvin Braziel Jr. was executed by the state of Texas tonight for a murder that took place in 1993. While a newlywed couple was walking on a jogging path, Braziel jumped out and tried to rob them. He ended up killing the husband and sexually assaulting the wife in a particularly braziel--er, that is, brazen--act of violence.

Because Texas no longer allows special last meal requests, Braziel was served the same food as others in his unit. For his last meal, Braziel had pepper steak, steamed rice with brown gravy, ranch style beans, cornbread, spaghetti with beef sauce, corn, pinto beans, and garlic toast, with a choice of water, tea, or punch to drink. 

Friday, December 7, 2018

Fried Chicken for Fried Inmate

Convicted killer David Earl Miller was executed by the state of Tennessee last night. Miller earned his lethal injection for beating and stabbing a woman to death with a fireplace poker in 1981.

Following a recent Tennessee trend, Miller chose the electric chair over lethal injection as his means of execution. His last words before the switch was thrown were, "Beats being on death row."

For his last meal, Miller chose fried chicken, mashed potatoes, biscuits, and coffee.

Tuesday, December 4, 2018

This Seven Wasn't So Magnificent

Joseph Garcia, a member of the infamous “Texas Seven,” was executed tonight for his part in the murder of a police officer in 2000.

Together with six other inmates, Garcia escaped from prison and went on a crime spree with other members of the gang. During the robbery of a sporting goods store, one police officer was shot and killed. The “Texas Seven” were recaptured one month later; one member committed suicide as the police closed in, but the other six were apprehended and given the death penalty. Garcia is the fourth member of the gang to lie on the execution table.

Because Texas no longer allows special last meal requests, Garcia was given the same food as others in his unit. For his last meal, Joseph Garcia had a baked pork chop, pepper steak, sweet potatoes, pinto beans, steamed rice with brown gravy, corn, vegetarian beans, cornbread, sliced bread, and a choice of tea, punch, or water to drink.

Thursday, November 15, 2018

Reward for Ramos?

Roberto Ramos was executed tonight by the state of Texas. Ramos earned his death sentence in a particularly gruesome way; by bludgeoning his wife and two children, ages 3 and 7, with a sledgehammer before burying them beneath the floor of his bathroom. Three days after the murders, Ramos married a woman he had been having an affair with and moved her into the home where his family was buried.

When asked if he had any last words, Ramos responded as if he were at a retirement party instead of an execution. “I’m getting my gold watch that it took the governor 30 years to forge,” he said. “Thank you, God. Lord, send me a chariot. I’m ready.”

Because Texas no longer allows special last meal requests, Ramos was given the same food as others in his unit. For his last meal, Roberto Ramos had pepper steak, steamed rice, mixed greens, pinto beans, sliced bread, oven-fried potatoes, country gravy with sausage, mixed fruit, biscuits, and a choice of tea, punch, or water to drink.

Thursday, November 1, 2018

Hey Buddy, You Want a Knuckle Sandwich?

If most people were asked that question, the resounding answer would be no. But Edmund Zagorski isn’t your average guy in any way, shape, or form.

Zagorski earned his death sentence for shooting two men, slitting their throats, then robbing them during a drug deal. While awaiting his execution date on Tennessee’s death row, Zagorski decided to choose the electric chair instead of lethal injection as his method of execution.

But Zagorski wasn’t finished showing what a nonconformist he is. For his last meal, Zagorski chose pickled pig’s knuckles and pig’s tails, a meal that most people would deem even more “cruel and unusual” than a trip to the electric chair.

Let’s hope he didn’t drop any of that unusual last meal into his lap while he was eating, though, because no macho death row inmate wants to go to the electric chair with his tail between his legs.

Zagorski was executed this evening after proclaiming, “Let’s rock!”