Daniel Cook Ends Up Half Baked

Multiple-murderer Daniel Cook was executed by the state of Arizona today after spending 25 years on death row. After a night of binging on drugs and alcohol, Cook and an accomplice tortured and killed two young men. In the understatement of the year, Cook explained the crime this way: "We got to partying. Things got out of hand."

For his last meal, Cook requested eggplant lasagna, garlic cheese mash potatoes, roasted Brussels sprouts, broiled asparagus, a pint of Ben & Jerry's Half Baked ice cream, and root beer.

Cook continued the half-baked theme as he spoke his last words prior to the execution. After apologizing to the families of his victims, Cook suddenly looked around the execution chamber and said "Where am I?" The answer quickly became clear as the lethal drugs performed their function.