Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Pardo Partakes of Pork, Plantains, & Pumpkin Pie

Manuel Pardo, a former policeman turned cold-blooded killer, was executed by the state of Florida tonight. Pardo was convicted of shooting nine people to death during a three-month rampage in 1986. All of the victims were thought to have ties to the drug business. Pardo claimed that he was doing the world a favor by murdering those he called “parasites,” but he also stole and used credit cards from his victims—a big no-no among self-righteous vigilantes.

During his trial, Pardo admitted that he enjoyed killing people and said he wished he had killed more. After his conviction, however, Pardo softened his persona and became known as a “Death Row Romeo” who became pen pals with dozens of women and persuaded many of them to send him money.

It’s easy to see how this deadly dreamboat gathered such a large flock of admirers. Ladies, try not to swoon as you gaze at his photograph. And to answer the question that’s racing through everyone’s mind right now—no, Brad Pitt did not have a long-lost twin brother.

For his last meal, Pardo ate roast pork, red beans, rice, plantains, avocados, and tomatoes drizzled with olive oil. He had pumpkin pie for dessert, and washed everything down with eggnog and Cuban coffee.

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