It's Not Easy Being Green

Jonathan Green, executed by the state of Texas last night, went to his death espousing his innocence. “I’m an innocent man,” Green said in his final statement. “I never killed anyone. Y’all are killing an innocent man.” Green then looked at one of the needles used in the lethal injection process and said, “It’s hurting me bad.” Moments later, he began snoring loudly.

Green’s plea of innocence might have carried more weight if not for the fact that his murdered victim was found stuffed behind a chair in Green’s home. Green claimed that someone else must have put the body there, and that he didn’t know anything about it.

By the way, Green’s long list of prior offenses included stealing a pony from a petting zoo and stabbing it to death. Not exactly the type of thing you want on your resume if you’re claiming to be a peaceful man.

Because Texas no longer allows death row inmates to order a special last meal, Green was given the same food as the other convicts in his unit. His last meal was Salisbury steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, pinto beans, and mixed vegetables.